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Scotty From Marketing today brought together the greatest marketing minds the Hillsong Young Liberals faction has to offer.
It comes after countless polls show Scotty’s grave incompetence manages to seep through Murdoch’s almost impenetrable protection racket that has only shielded voters from the way one of his fucking Fuck.
With 15 million people locked out and new revelations our government was actively avoiding meetings with Pfizer executives last year because they wanted to go with their jab maker that his ministers had all bought shares in. , it has become clear that the Prime Minister must turn on if he is to stay in this profession for which he is surprisingly ill-suited.
The ten weeks that the majority of the nation spent trapped in their homes with insufficient jab supplies and a failing healthcare system were not made easier by the news that Morrison was able to cross state borders to pass the Father’s Day weekend with his family – despite NewsCorp making every effort not to report the most recent act of complacent stupidity.
So today, with a room full of yes men who wouldn’t be able to name the Cronulla Sharks captain with a gun pointed at their temples, Scotty is focused on solving the biggest problem his government faces. .
That is to say the fact that Australians might be fed up with his shit and will vote even for the least inspiring Labor opposition if that puts them out of the misery that Scott Morrison throws at them every time he shows his face.
“Alright guys. It’s time to think! Said Scotty of Marketing, as he pulled out a projector slide of himself.
“These are our biggest obstacles right now. That’s what the data tells us anyway.
“How to deal with this? “
The ten heterosexual white men sitting in front of him begin to whisper, saying nothing in particular for fear of damaging the Prime Minister’s extremely fragile ego.
“I have an idea!” says a young upstart, who thinks social housing is an outdated luxury for people who lack a work ethic and want free handouts.
“Maybe you could say ‘mate’ more … Plus, all of our research tells us Australians love guys who drink beer.”
“Yes!” he says.
“That’s what I’m looking for. No more beer. “
“I wonder if I can get non-alcoholic beer to decant in a beer glass. Even medium strength stuff seems to make me feel gross “
Another hand goes up. Morrison points to him.
“Maybe you could stop constantly going on vacation amid public disasters when millions of Australians cannot see their loved ones and face extreme financial distress,” said the courageous intern.
“Maybe it could help our prospects for re-election”
Scotty’s mood changes visibly.
“Hi, man. I’ll make it quick” he growls
“Are you Catholic or what?” It might make a bit of sense if it does.
“What a stupid thing to say.”
“Put your things in a box and get the hell out of here.” And never come back, fucking worthless germ “