So imagine my surprise when my phone rang. For the purposes of this story, let’s say it’s the most beaten iPhone ever. Like really not in shape at all. He sits on a table that looks like something out of a Hunter S. Thompson story but replaces 90% of the drugs with antacid tablets. I awkwardly answer the phone. It’s 7 p.m.
“Ian, we need you,” volume one says. “We need boots in the field to understand what is really going on with Eau Claire Pinball.”
“I’m getting too old for this sh–,” I said.
“No, I can’t say that anymore,” says volume one. “We are a family publication now. Like we all have a ton of kids now, except you.
“I was just going to say, I’m getting too old for this… nonsense,” I said. I put a cold steak on my black eye. “But I’m in. One last round, but you gotta let me promote my website, nudgepinball.com a bunch. It’s NUDG –“
“We understand,” says volume one.
So here we are. One last lap for little Jacoby. Alright Eau Claire, buckle up for the rock ‘n’ roll pinball machine of your life. The kind of ride where you say “n” instead of using the word “and”. Because it really is so casual of a ride.
Anyway, I rocked this town and shook it to see what kind of pinball machine would fall. Here is what fell.